January 20, 2012
Appalling: cruise ship captain spotted vacationing in the Canary Islands moments after crash.  TENERIFE—Adding insult to injury just one week after the state-of-the-art Costa Concordia sunk off the coast of Italy, an eye witness has come forward to reveal something that will likely turn the stomachs of many of our readers. According to her testimony, cruise ship captain Francesco Schettino was vacationing in the Canary Islands just moments after the ship crashed off the coast of Italy. “I couldn’t believe it,” the witness told reporters. “I mean, it’s one thing to order a meal after you’ve crashed your cruise ship, or to jump in a rescue boat. But to head to the islands for a three-day volcano-hopping romp? It’s unfathomable.”  Experts are baffled by the logistics of a human being displacing himself over a thousand miles in a matter of seconds, but maintain that formalities like these aren’t the point. “As a captain, you have certain responsibilities,” a spokesman for Costa Cruises said in a public statement. “And one of them is not black-bellied sandgrouse watching.” Police have taken Schettino into custody, promising the victims’ families that he’ll be arraigned as soon as he reveals the divine secrets of teleportation.  Opposite of news: http://www.cnn.com/2012/01/19/world/europe/italy-cruise-cook/index.html

Appalling: cruise ship captain spotted vacationing in the Canary Islands moments after crash. 

TENERIFE—Adding insult to injury just one week after the state-of-the-art Costa Concordia sunk off the coast of Italy, an eye witness has come forward to reveal something that will likely turn the stomachs of many of our readers. According to her testimony, cruise ship captain Francesco Schettino was vacationing in the Canary Islands just moments after the ship crashed off the coast of Italy. “I couldn’t believe it,” the witness told reporters. “I mean, it’s one thing to order a meal after you’ve crashed your cruise ship, or to jump in a rescue boat. But to head to the islands for a three-day volcano-hopping romp? It’s unfathomable.” 

Experts are baffled by the logistics of a human being displacing himself over a thousand miles in a matter of seconds, but maintain that formalities like these aren’t the point. “As a captain, you have certain responsibilities,” a spokesman for Costa Cruises said in a public statement. “And one of them is not black-bellied sandgrouse watching.” Police have taken Schettino into custody, promising the victims’ families that he’ll be arraigned as soon as he reveals the divine secrets of teleportation. 

Opposite of news:

http://www.cnn.com/2012/01/19/world/europe/italy-cruise-cook/index.html

10:05am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/Z69FBwF3wclH
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