January 22, 2012
Report: record number of young people pretend they knew who Etta James was. RIVERSIDE—Following the death of Etta James, who we’re told was a US soul singer, America’s youth have come out in droves to pretend they’re upset about it. “It’s a tragic day for music,” an anonymous sixteen year-old who ‘loves all of her songs equally’ told us during a street interview. Jukebox bars around the country blasted her hits as young urban males tried to impress women who were also acting as though they knew the singer. Technology giant Apple, Inc. reported a record number of Etta James ‘preview plays’ on its iTunes store. Sales of her albums remained flat, however, as the store’s young consumers realized they actually didn’t like her music at all. Still, they persisted. “Music was so pure back then,” a young girl with a self-frayed Beatles t-shirt told us. “I was born in the wrong generation.” A series of follow-up questions revealed that the girl had no idea which decade she was referring to. Original news story: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/22/etta-james-singers-passio_n_1222010.html

Report: record number of young people pretend they knew who Etta James was.

RIVERSIDE—Following the death of Etta James, who we’re told was a US soul singer, America’s youth have come out in droves to pretend they’re upset about it. “It’s a tragic day for music,” an anonymous sixteen year-old who ‘loves all of her songs equally’ told us during a street interview. Jukebox bars around the country blasted her hits as young urban males tried to impress women who were also acting as though they knew the singer.

Technology giant Apple, Inc. reported a record number of Etta James ‘preview plays’ on its iTunes store. Sales of her albums remained flat, however, as the store’s young consumers realized they actually didn’t like her music at all. Still, they persisted. “Music was so pure back then,” a young girl with a self-frayed Beatles t-shirt told us. “I was born in the wrong generation.” A series of follow-up questions revealed that the girl had no idea which decade she was referring to.

Original news story:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/22/etta-james-singers-passio_n_1222010.html

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