Secretary of Agriculture Tom Vilsack skipped State of the Union to use expiring Groupon, source reveals.

PITTSBURGH—As the leaders of the free world met for the 2012 State of the Union Address in Washington this evening, Secretary of Agriculture Tom Vilsack was discovered unexpectedly absent. “He just didn’t show up,” speaker of the house John Boehner observed in a public statement. “We all just assumed he was the designated survivor.” But Vilsack wasn’t the designated survivor. A source close to the secretary revealed that he instead skipped the annual address to use a Groupon deal set to expire at midnight.

“It was a pretty good Groupon. $30 worth of Malaysian food for $15, or something like that,” the whistle-blower continued. “I guess he just forgot he had it.” According to the source, the secretary canceled his plane ticket moments after noticing the deal’s January 25th expiration date. As the nation’s leaders gathered in the House chamber, Vilsack and his family piled into Sun Penang Restaurant in their hometown of Pittsburgh, PA. “Frankly, it’s despicable,” vice president Joe Biden added in an interview. “The restaurant isn’t even well reviewed.” A spokesman for the white house admitted that the secretary’s absence had little effect on the events in Washington, as usual.

Source: Opposite Of News.

Original news story:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/24/tom-vilsack-state-of-the-union_n_1229681.html?ref=politics