February 7, 2012
Nation’s leanest state considers banning lunch in public schools. DENVER—America’s slimmest state is taking aim at schools that offer meals to their students during lunchtime. Lawmakers from Colorado met in Denver this morning to push a bill forward that would ban all forms of food in its 179 public school districts. “We’ve worked hard over the past five years to become the nation’s leanest state,” a representative from Colorado’s Department of Education told us in a multi-media text message. “We won’t stop now.” Though the removal of nearly all trans-fats from cafeteria meals earned the Rocky Mountain state the lowest childhood obesity rate in the nation, parents and teachers didn’t think it was enough. “If I can’t see my kids’ bones, and I mean every one of ‘em, then the schools aren’t doing their jobs,” one concerned mother of three mentioned in an interview. The bill, which to our fortune passed while we were writing this article, is set to take effect immediately. A superintendent familiar with the matter told us that students will be asked to help disassemble kitchens, tables, chairs and vending machines as early as this afternoon. To fill in the gap once occupied by a warm meal, schools will now require students to meet in the former cafeteria each day to read Charles Dickens’ Oliver Twist. “These kids need someone they can really connect with,” the superintendent added. “Oliver will always be just as hungry as they are.” Source: Opposite Of News. Original news story: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/02/colo-lawmakers-consider-t_n_1249463.html

Nation’s leanest state considers banning lunch in public schools.

DENVER—America’s slimmest state is taking aim at schools that offer meals to their students during lunchtime. Lawmakers from Colorado met in Denver this morning to push a bill forward that would ban all forms of food in its 179 public school districts. “We’ve worked hard over the past five years to become the nation’s leanest state,” a representative from Colorado’s Department of Education told us in a multi-media text message. “We won’t stop now.” Though the removal of nearly all trans-fats from cafeteria meals earned the Rocky Mountain state the lowest childhood obesity rate in the nation, parents and teachers didn’t think it was enough.

“If I can’t see my kids’ bones, and I mean every one of ‘em, then the schools aren’t doing their jobs,” one concerned mother of three mentioned in an interview. The bill, which to our fortune passed while we were writing this article, is set to take effect immediately. A superintendent familiar with the matter told us that students will be asked to help disassemble kitchens, tables, chairs and vending machines as early as this afternoon. To fill in the gap once occupied by a warm meal, schools will now require students to meet in the former cafeteria each day to read Charles Dickens’ Oliver Twist. “These kids need someone they can really connect with,” the superintendent added. “Oliver will always be just as hungry as they are.”

Source: Opposite Of News.

Original news story:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/02/colo-lawmakers-consider-t_n_1249463.html

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  1. oppositeofnews posted this