February 15, 2012
Mississippi bill would alter classic Charles Dickens novels to take place in Jackson. JACKSON—A bill submitted by lawmakers in Mississippi on Thursday seeks to alter the classic works of one of the world’s most celebrated authors. According to sources familiar with the matter, if the bill passed, each and every Charles Dickens novel would be rewritten to take place in Jackson, the state’s crime-ridden capital. “Most of our citizens have never left the state,” Democratic representative Steve Holland explained to a hostile group of reporters. “And that’s fine. But how can we expect them to relate to stories that take place on the other side of an ocean we’ve never even seen?” Lawmakers hope the bill will jumpstart interest in reading and literacy in a state infamous for lackluster education. “Imagine characters like Ebeneezer Scrooge and Miss Havisham living just down the street from you, right by the 7eleven, or maybe that K-Mart that closed down,” Holland continued. “Those are stories you can really get your head around. Those are books you want to read.” Once passed, reprinting of the classics will begin immediately. The bill would also require any library holding an original copy of the book to burn it. And lawmakers in the Dixie state won’t stop there. “This is just the first step,” Holland added. “Eventually, we hope to have the entire history of humanity rewritten inside the confines of our happy little state. Even the bad stuff.”  Source: Opposite Of News. Original new story: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/mississippi-bill-change-gulf-mexico-gulf-america-article-1.1020016

Mississippi bill would alter classic Charles Dickens novels to take place in Jackson.

JACKSON—A bill submitted by lawmakers in Mississippi on Thursday seeks to alter the classic works of one of the world’s most celebrated authors. According to sources familiar with the matter, if the bill passed, each and every Charles Dickens novel would be rewritten to take place in Jackson, the state’s crime-ridden capital. “Most of our citizens have never left the state,” Democratic representative Steve Holland explained to a hostile group of reporters. “And that’s fine. But how can we expect them to relate to stories that take place on the other side of an ocean we’ve never even seen?” Lawmakers hope the bill will jumpstart interest in reading and literacy in a state infamous for lackluster education.

“Imagine characters like Ebeneezer Scrooge and Miss Havisham living just down the street from you, right by the 7eleven, or maybe that K-Mart that closed down,” Holland continued. “Those are stories you can really get your head around. Those are books you want to read.” Once passed, reprinting of the classics will begin immediately. The bill would also require any library holding an original copy of the book to burn it. And lawmakers in the Dixie state won’t stop there. “This is just the first step,” Holland added. “Eventually, we hope to have the entire history of humanity rewritten inside the confines of our happy little state. Even the bad stuff.” 

Source: Opposite Of News.

Original new story:

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/mississippi-bill-change-gulf-mexico-gulf-america-article-1.1020016

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