February 21, 2012
New law would require elementary schools to teach next generation of students in ancient ‘Siletz Dee-ni’ tongue. PORTLAND—In an attempt to culture a nation that has historically refused to make any kind of attempt to communicate with the non-english speaking world, lawmakers in Oregon introduced a bill on Sunday that would require all incoming elementary students to be taught in Siletz Dee-ni, a nearly extinct Native American language. If the law passes, english in any form would be banned from elementary schools across the beaver state immediately. “Unfortunately, the rest of America is just too obtuse to possess the kind of brain capacity required to adopt such a ridiculous language,” Dr. Mary Caldwell, a known languages expert told us. “Instead, we need to drill it into the minds of our youth.” If the ‘Siletz Dee-ni phenomenon’ catches on, experts predict that the entire country could eventually speak the endangered language, perhaps as early as 2070. Teachers across the state championed the bill writers Monday evening. “Look at our history. We took everything from the natives,” Mr. Miller, a kindergarten teacher based out of Salem, explained in a private interview. “Their food, their land, their women, even their dignity. Everything but their language. It’s a wonder we waited this long.” Native Americans currently living on the Siletz reservation are expected to be hired as teachers, provided that they’re not hopeless alcoholics. Source: Opposite Of News. Original news story: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/18/native-american-languages_n_1286345.html?ref=science

New law would require elementary schools to teach next generation of students in ancient ‘Siletz Dee-ni’ tongue.

PORTLAND—In an attempt to culture a nation that has historically refused to make any kind of attempt to communicate with the non-english speaking world, lawmakers in Oregon introduced a bill on Sunday that would require all incoming elementary students to be taught in Siletz Dee-ni, a nearly extinct Native American language. If the law passes, english in any form would be banned from elementary schools across the beaver state immediately. “Unfortunately, the rest of America is just too obtuse to possess the kind of brain capacity required to adopt such a ridiculous language,” Dr. Mary Caldwell, a known languages expert told us. “Instead, we need to drill it into the minds of our youth.”

If the ‘Siletz Dee-ni phenomenon’ catches on, experts predict that the entire country could eventually speak the endangered language, perhaps as early as 2070. Teachers across the state championed the bill writers Monday evening. “Look at our history. We took everything from the natives,” Mr. Miller, a kindergarten teacher based out of Salem, explained in a private interview. “Their food, their land, their women, even their dignity. Everything but their language. It’s a wonder we waited this long.” Native Americans currently living on the Siletz reservation are expected to be hired as teachers, provided that they’re not hopeless alcoholics.

Source: Opposite Of News.

Original news story:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/18/native-american-languages_n_1286345.html?ref=science

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